Illusions
by Wingless butterfly
Summary: Sometimes what we see is so foggy that what we think is right is actually wrong. See three people who get tangled up in a web of love, angst, and startling revelations. Warning: This fic is rated M for violence and slight cussing. ShuichixYuki. Yukix?
1. What is left of us part 1

**Illusions **

**Disclaimer: **I do not own gravitation in anyway nor do I own any of the characters.

**Summary: **Sometimes what we see is so foggy that what we think is right is actually wrong. See three people who get tangled up in a web of love, angst, and startling revelations. Warning: This fic is rated M for violence and slight cussing. ShuichixYuki. Yukix??

**A/N: **Well hello fellow readers. This is my first chapter fic and I hope you guys enjoy it... I also hope you all don't get mad at me over the whole plot but I promise things will work out in the end...at least I hope.

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Chapter 1:What is left of us-part one 

The room was a complete mess. The lamps, which had been thrown and smashed against the wall, were laying in pieces on the ground. Clothes were askew across the floor. Pictures of Yuki and me had crashed and fell too.

Everything was just a mess.

As I lay across the bed naked watching the ceiling fan spin around and around I wonder how it came to this. To the point where we would fight everyday... to the point of Yuki saying hurtful things. To the point of uncontrolled anger on his part and to the point of me shedding tears. Real tears. Tears of pain both mental and physical.

My eyes were red and puffy from crying and my pink hair was more disheveled than usual.

The places where he hit me...my cheek, my stomach, my ribs hurt the most that's where he kicked me till I coughed up blood...until I begged him to stop.

I couldn't move, didn't think of moving there was no way I could. I felt drained like I wasn't even there, like I didn't exist.

Maybe I didn't... no one really knew me or what I've been going through.

When they look at me I know what they see. A pink haired bubbly kid whose always laughing, always smiling, No worries in the world. I know because that's how I portray myself to be.

I hide behind this mask, no one would ever suspect a thing and I wanted it to stay that way. I didn't want anyone to know; couldn't bare the shame. The way they would look at me

'Poor Shuichi.' they would say, 'he's been through so much.'

I couldn't stand the pity. It would make me feel weaker than I already am.

The room is dark now I don't know how long i've been laying here but Yuki hasn't returned yet and I don't care.

The quiet it helps me. It's like silence is me.

I look away from the fan and look out the bedroom window. The moon is shining light directly over the room casting shadows over everything.

I breathe a quiet sigh.

See the thing with Yuki is he loves me.

He hurts me because he loves me... cause he doesn't want to experience that feeling. Doesn't want to fall back under that tragic spell that tore him apart at such a young age. The feeling of falling in love. So he punishes me for loving him and for him for loving me- and I let him.

I let him see that no matter how much he pushes me away I'll always be with him- even if I lose myself and my soul in the process.

The door to the apartment opens and closes quietly but not quiet enough for me not to hear it.

I hear when Yuki throw's his keys on the coffee table and then moving things around in the kitchen. I don't make an effort to move but I close my eyes and listen to the sounds of the ceiling fan spinning around and around.

The sound it soothes me and I find myself falling into sleep.

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**A/N: **(please don't be mad). Ok I know things seem kind of angst and all with Yuki and Shu but things will become clearer soon I promise. Sorry that this chapter is so short ..the others will be longer I promise .Please leave comments about what you think so far. 


	2. What is left of us part 2

**Illusions **

**Disclaimer: **I still do not own gravitation in anyway nor do I own any of the characters.

**Summary: **Sometimes what we see is so foggy that what we think is right is actually wrong. See three people who get tangled up in a web of love, angst, and startling revelations. Warning: This fic is rated M for violence and slight cussing. ShuichixYuki. Yukix??

**A/N: **Yeah!!! Chapter 2. Can't believe I got this and chapter one done on the same day. Yeah me!!!! I am too hyper for my own good... at least that's what lots of sugary sweetness does to you. hmph!! Anyways hope you guys enjoy chapter 2.

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Chapter 2: What is left of us-part2 

_Earlier that evening..._

Yuki's P.O.V

A feeling of dread and panic overcame me as I watched shuichi lying helplessly on the floor. I didn't know what was wrong with me anymore; I didn't know why I hurt him like this.

My breathing has become ragged as I looked around the destroyed room. I had thrown everything around in my blind furry and now I was taking it all in seeing the damage I had done, watching Shuichi as he laid sobbing on the bedroom floor telling me how sorry he was.

I just stood their eyes fixed on my lover until I felt the need to escape. I looked around the room and picked up a pair of Jeans and a white collard shirt from the ground (I had pulled out all of our clothes from the drawers and threw those around too.). I walked out of the room mumbling a sorry to Shuichi and make my way to the bathroom.

Once I get there I close and lock the door before turning on the water in the sink and splashing in on my face.

I took a calm breath to steady myself.

That damn brat was going to be the death of me.

'_Or are you going to be the death of him?'_

I close my eyes and lean against the sink not wanting to think about anything.

This wasn't like me... beating shuichi, falling in love, sleeping behind my lover's back-. No it wasn't like me at all.

Slipping on my clothes quickly I make my way out of the apartment grabbing my keys, my cigarettes and my lighter. I slip my shoes on my feet and quickly head out the door.

I knew what I had to do.

Knew I had to make things right. I needed to confront the problems that bothered me...starting with my second lover.

I make my way towards the elevator going down to the parking lot. I pull out a cigarette as I walk to my car and wonder if he's even home.

When I open the car door the cell phone rings disturbing me from my thoughts. I hope to kami it isn't Tohma or someone like that because I really couldn't deal with any more bullshit at the moment.

'_No one put you in this shit but yourself so why blame others for your discomfort.'_

Scowling I pull the phone from my pocket frowning only slightly when the name Ta-chan flashes across the screen.

I slide in the car and close the door not bothering to answer the phone because he's probably calling for me to come over anyways.

Putting the key in the ignition of my black Mercedes I drive off into the night speeding my way down the highway.

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**A/N: **I know I said this chappy was going to be longer buuutttt... I thought this would be a good place to stop just to leave you guys guessing as to who the mystery person is...though if you read close enough you would see I gave a hint to the persons name. It's quite simple really but for those who are still slightly in the clouds you'll be finding out next chapter. Well reviews are welcome people and I would be happy to answer any questions concerning the story k!!! byezzzz 


	3. Nothing more than a dream

**Illusions **

**Disclaimer:** I do not own gravitation in any way.

**A/N: **Well here's the third chapter to this oh so lovely fic. Hope you guys enjoy!

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**Chapter 3**:Nothing more than a dream 

"Hey open up."

Eiri yuki stood banging on the door of the apartment before a voice from the other side could be heard.

"I'm coming, I'm coming."

Taki Aizawa opened the door his jet black hair wet and dripping looking as though he just got out of the shower except for the fact that he was wearing a white t-shirt and jeans.

"E-eiri what are you doing here?"

Yuki pushed his way through the door and heard when Taki closed and locked it behind him.

"You had no problem with me being here before... I just came to see you there's something we need to talk about."

Yuki sat down on the couch making himself comfortable before looking up at the dark haired boy.

"You expecting someone?", he asked pulling out his lighter and cigarettes.

Taki wrinkled his nose when eiri lit the cigarette sending its fumes in the air.

"Nah no one in particular."

Aizawa watched eiri in silence for a few seconds before making his way over to Yuki. He straddled the blonds lap and laid his head on his shoulders slowly grinding against him.

"I know what you came here for Yuki," he whispered against the blond's ear.

He felt the mans hands grabbing his waist in a painful grip trying to keep him momentarily still.

"Do you really know Taki?" Yuki asked before pushing the boy roughly to the ground.

Taki whimpered when Yuki got on top of him and grabbed his hair tightly forcing both their eyes to meet. Taki loved it when Yuki treated him this way it made him feel whole... he didn't want to be loved and Yuki didn't want to love him that's what made there relationship so great.

"I hate you...you know that right?"

Taki tried to look away but yuki yanked his head back around before continuing.

"You should be punished for doing this to me. I don't even want to look at you. You knew Shuichi didn't like you- knew damn well that you two were rivals in that damn music Industry and you used me to get to him huh?"

Taki was momentarily taken aback.

"How did you figure it out?", he asked with a sneer.

Yuki smiled slightly before his face became expressionless.

"So you thought you'd break his heart by telling him about us ...show him pictures of me fucking you? Didn't you think I would eventually find out that you work at N.G productions...? I should have known something was up when you wouldn't tell me what you did for a living."

Yuki stood up and yanked on taki's hair so he would get up too.

"You know I never thought you were a very smart person Taki because all you've done is made me realize how much I really do love Shuichi and how much I really hate you for making me realize it.'

Taki felt a sudden stab of jealousy when he heard yuki say he loved Shuichi.

'_Wait ...jealous I shouldn't be jealous. I don't want yuki's love I want to feel his hate.'_

Taki looked into yuki's eyes and realized he did love him.

'_I love him because he hates me...I hate him because I hate loving him.'_

Before Taki could say anything though Yuki beat him to it.

"Stay away from me and from Shuichi. I don't want to see you anymore Taki. I can't bare it."

Yuki let go of Taki's hair and then stepped away from the boy.

Taki couldn't believe his ears. He needed Yuki, couldn't live without him. He couldn't believe it he'd fallen in love with the man who hated him most in life.

"Yuki you can't leave me don't you get it. This is what we wanted remember? This hate it's what we wanted."

Yuki unlocked the door but before he could open it Taki pushed him away.

"Would you fucking listen to me Eiri you can't leave not now. Not when I need you most.

He couldn't help sounding so weak...actually he didn't care he needed yuki to hear him out.

The blond smiled (something he rarely did.) and pulled out another cigarette and his lighter.

"No I heard you Taki I just don't' care. I'm going with Shuichi I can't continue to see you. I know I'm probably going to regret this but he's constantly on my mind.

Taki backed away from Eiri and allowed him to leave.

"If that's how you really feel." he said through gritted teeth.

Yuki looked behind one more time when he stepped out of the apartment door.

Taki looked at him with a disgusted and painful expression on his face and Yuki knew this wasn't the last time he would see the boy because Taki didn't seem like the type of person to give up so easily. The writer knew he would do anything in his power to try and break him and shuichi up, well if they still _had _a relationship after what he had done but he left it for now and walked away from the door of his exlover.

On the other side of the door a very angry Taki picked up his cell phone and dialed a number before flopping down restlessly on his couch. The phone rang a couple times before a gruff voice answered. He smiled.

"I need you to do me a favor...trust me when I say you'll be very surprised at the job I've got for you two."

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**A/N: **(Peep's around corner from angry mob) 

Hmph! Well now you all know who Eiri's mystery lover is (stupid Taki.) for those of you who knew that it was him from the hint in my last chapter free Cookies and lots and lots of sugar for all of you. Well we've got one more chapter to go...which will be the conclusion to this fic. Oh and just so you guys don't get to confused this whole ordeal is before Shuichi's rape and right around the time when Taki would do anything to steal the spotlight away from Shuichi... Hope you guys are enjoying it and please review so I'll know what you guys think k! Questions are welcomed also.


	4. How we want things to be

**Illusions **

**Disclaimer: **Hmph! For the last time I do not own Gravitation or any of it's characters.

**A/N: **Yeah!!!! This is the last chapter of this oh so lovely fic. I want to thank those of you who reviewed my story your thoughts were deeply appreciated. Well on with the last chapter.

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Chapter 4: How we want things to be. 

Yuki's P.O.V

"Shu-chan.wake up."

When I arrived home after what happened between me and Taki I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. But there was still something I had to do.

I had to make things right between Shuichi and me.

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"Shu-chan please wake up." 

Shuichi slowly opened his eyes and instantly locked them with Yuki's amber ones. Yuki's smile however faded away when a look of fear crossed the younger boy's features.

The two stood quite still, Shuichi laying on his back and Eiri leaning over him.

"Shuichi?" Yuki reached out his hand and stroked the boys pink hair. A small smile found its way onto Shuichi's lips and yet his eye's still were cautious.

Yuki had a peaceful expression on his face and even allowed a small smile to grace his lips.

Shuichi was about to say something but Eiri placed a finger on his lip's to stop him.

"Before you say anything I'm sorry for what I've done Shuichi. I'm sorry Taki showed you those pictures of him and me... I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

Shuichi remained quiet his brow furrowed in concentration as he contemplated Yuki's words. Yuki gradually continued.

"I was afraid you know...that if I opened up to you I'd get hurt like before...so I did whatever I could to push you away. I love you and what I've done is unforgivable. But I hope you can give me another chance."

Shuichi wiped away the tears that were now falling down Eiri's cheek's before leaning forward to place a light kiss on the his lips. When he pulled away he was sporting a huge grin on his face.

"YUKIIIIIII..."

Eiri suddenly found himself on the bedroom floor when shuichi pounced on him like a lion.

"I didn't say you could tackle me." Yuki whispered wrapping his arms around the thin waist.

Shuichi didn't answer him though but was extremely still for a long time.

"Shuichi what's the matter?" he asked when he realized the boy wasn't breathing right.

Shuichi grabbed onto Yuki's shirt as a sob escaped his lips.

"I guess that was a bad idea...you know jumping on you like that. Its just that I'm in pain...a lot of pain but I just need some rest Yuki."

Eiri closed his eyes momentarily cursing himself to hell before getting up and carefully picking shindou up with him.

"Where are we going?" Shuichi asked when Eiri took him out of the bedroom.

"I want to give you a nice hot bath it'll ease the pain a bit...that sound good to you."

Shuichi nodded and rested his head against Yuki's shoulder as they made their way to the bathroom.

When they got there Yuki kicked the door open and walked inside the overly spacious room.

"You think you can stand a while love?"

Shuichi nodded before he was lowered to the bathroom sink and watched as Yuki filled up the bath with strawberry scented Bubble bath and warm water.

"Come here Shu-chan." Yuki whispered.

Shuichi walked slowly over to Yuki blushing when he realized he was still naked from before. When he reached the tub Yuki was almost halfway naked as his clothes fell to the tile with a restless sigh.

He slowly slid into the warm water.

'Yuki's going to take a bath with me.'

Yuki held out his hand and again he smiled. (A/N: He's smiling a lot more than usual wouldn't you say? This is freaking even me out.)

"Come on Shu get in."

Shuichi smiled too and slide into the bathtub his back against Yuki's chest. He relaxed and rested against Eir's shoulder. Eiri wrapped his arms around the boy's waist and closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry for sleeping with him. I was just so frustrated with my feelings I didn't-"

"Yuki."

"Hmm?"

"It's ok. You don't have to explain. I just want you to love me the right way ok? That's all I ask."

"Ok I understand."

Yuki and Shuichi sat in each other's arms silently and thought about everything that happened between them. Maybe they could work this out. Maybe they could actually be a happy couple.

Then again...Maybe everything isn't always as it seems.

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**A/N: **Well that's the end of Illusions hope you guys enjoyed reading this fic as much as I liked writing it. In case you don't already know the whole thing with Eiri abusing and cheating on shuichi was because he didn't want to give into his feelings of love and he didn't want shuichi to love him so he hurt Shu in order to push him away. But alas Gravitation has a way of working it's wonderful magic. Now I'm contemplating on writing a sequel that would lead up to Taki's 'revenge.' or do you guys think I should just end it here? Comments are appreciated greatly. Thanks for reading!! Bye. 


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